Celebrating 5 Years; Celebrating Today

December 6 was my pre-CT scan blood draw.
December 12 was my every-6-month CT scan.
December 19 was my every-6-month appointment with Dr. Malviya.

"No changes" (no return of cancer)!
So I am celebrating my 5-year anniversary!
(Surgery was Jan. 28, but I am starting now.)

This does not mean there is no chance of return.
It means it has been 5 years, and it has not returned.

I am thankful!

Doctor-and-test-time tends to be a reflective time.
I seemed to concentrate on two themes.

1)  Waiting at Advent.
A theme of the season of Advent is waiting.
That seemed to coordinate with my own personal schedule of waiting.
Waiting for test results.
Waiting to see my doctor.
Waiting and wondering.
Hoping for something good.

2)  Vulnerability and needing a Savior
I rejoice at healthy test results.
Yet, I also know something about my human vulnerability.
There is both joy and mystery.

When I was a child, I knew I needed a Savior, mainly because that is what I was taught.
But I generally depended on my parents for any needs.

Now, I know that needs in life go beyond the help of any human.
I NEED a Savior that is beyond human.
Beyond parents or doctor.
Beyond myself.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 18:2 NIV

You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.
Isaiah 26:3-4 NIV

Three Years, with Gratitude and Love

Today is the 3-year anniversary of my surgery.
My most recent tests (November CT scan, etc.) did not show any recurrance.
I am feeling good.
I am glad to be here.

My hair has grown back.
(I am liking to keep it short right now though.)

Reflecting...
I am reminded that I am not defined by one experience in life.
But also, I am not invulnerable.
Both.
This is a reminder for me, and a life-lesson for my children.

Whatever difficulty may be in your life right now,
does not define your whole life.
There may be an area to get past.
It may be temporary.
Do what you need to do to get through it...
to move along on your journey...
with many other gifts and experiences and dimensions.

But you also know that you are a vulnerable human being.
We never know, nor get to choose, some things that come our way.

I slightly smile to myself at a small voice in me that says (knowing better really),
"If I just did not have this cancer shadow,
I would be normal like everyone else, and live forever."

We are all vulnerable.
We are all complex.

We have an amazing God,
who loved us so much,
He gave everything for us.
He made us in his own image, so he knows exactly how complex we are,
and what gifts we have to develop and to share.

He also understands our needs.
He is strong and dependable.
Whether life's difficulties are from our choices or things that just appear,
He does not say (as earthly parents might),
"You should have thought of this earlier,"
or "Why didn't you (fill-in-the-blank)?"

He holds you close, then takes your hand to walk
together.
You may not see where the next step may be.
He will guide you....
physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

His love is bigger than cancer,
bigger than jobs,
or having no job,
bigger than changes,
bigger than discouragement and disappointment,
bigger than tiredness,
bigger than loneliness,
bigger than stress and pressure,
bigger than anger or fear,
bigger than this life.
His love is eternal.

My dear children,
God's love is the one thing you can depend on.
And because of that love, we can love and be loved by others.

Today, I am so thankful for you.
You bless my life!
- Your mom, who loves you so much.


Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD.
Psalm 150:6 NIV