July So Far

(Photos on their way...)

Fourth of July
Visited church family campers and enjoyed a meal together!

Garden...
is growing.
There are actually (green) tomatoes!
Called the exterminator again though for neighborhood rats.
Hopefully they will be gone before tomatoes are ready.

Vacation Time with John - Part 1
Visited Mom and Dad up north.
Went canoeing on the AuSable River with John for the first time.
(No sharp turns and tipping over and ruining camera this trip.)
It was really beautiful!
(John has been on this river with James and also with my dad.)

Focus:
Look ahead, down the river, but also keep a shorter focus.
To the right at the shoreline: Great blue heron
Above, flying toward us: Bald eagle
To the left, just into the woods: a Doe
On the water's surface: Sometimes a reflection of the sky and clouds
Into the depths of the water: sometimes stones on the shallow bottom; sometimes dark expanse
(Of course, sometimes logs to be steered around!)

Back home...
and at a bridal shower for family friend Leanne!
Both Bonnie and Mom (with Dad) were in town for it.
Saw many other friends and family from Calvary days....

Vacation Sunday
Always fun to decide: where will we go today?
Visited the R.O. First Baptist Church today.
(Pastor - Dr. David Nichols - is a friend of John's from the community pastor's association.)
Really deep worshipful service.
Beautiful worshipful music with organist Min Sook Chung.
Difficult decisions ahead for them... preparing for a meeting this week.
The community has less families, decreasing over the last 40 years.
And there are many people for whom attending church is "not on the radar".
So what to do...
New directions and opportunities await.
(Some parallels with our own church...)

Closing Hymn:

My life is in You, Lord
My strength is in You, Lord
My hope is in You, Lord
In You, it's in You

I will praise You with all of my life
I will praise You with all of my strength
With all of my life
With all of my strength
All of my hope is in You


Postlude:
"Great Is Thy Faithfulness"

Ordinary Time

Ordinary Time:
Sometimes recognized in churches as a season between Pentecost and Advent.
For me, this period has seemed rather an Ordinary Time.
Each ordinary moment being thankful for health.

Thursday, May 28
Carrie flew in to Detroit!
Company prep.
Carrie helped a lot, including chopping veggies for taco salad and making a fruit tart and pecan pie








Company
John's family
John's mom, John's sister Karen, Phil
Anita & son
Annemarie with daughters.












Friday, May 29
Drove up north - John, Laura, Carrie & James - our family!
to "Grandma and Grandpa Hall's" place
Walked in the fields and woods with Grandpa.
Ah, fresh air.
Ate yummy food.
Looked at photos with Grandma.

Saturday, May 30
Celebrated Grandpa's birthday!

Drove home to Royal Oak
(Have to keep track of where current "home" is.)


Sunday, May 31
Jason and Kaitlin came over for dinner,
along with our family and Sarah
Allan stopped by after work, and volunteered to take Carrie to the airport
Carrie left. :(
Still, we were glad she came!

Back to church for an 80th birthday party - Chris C.


Wednesday, June 10
Volunteer/help with registration at County Commissioner Gary Woronchak's Senior Conference in Dearborn. (high school classmate).
Invited John's mom to attend, and spent the night at her place in Dearborn. Wild PJ party. Ha.

Friday, June 12

(Talked to George at English Gardens...)
Planted the garden!
Tomatoes - 8 plants (4 Chef Jeff Better Boy, 4 Chef Jeff Celebration)
Basil - 8 Chef Jeff - Green Bouquet (I think I am more used to "sweet" basil, but I did not see that variety the day I bought this.)
Green/Red Bell Peppers -1 Chef Jeff California Wonder; 2 Better Belle
Cilantro (Did not know it is also called coriander)
Parsley - 8 curly
Cucumbers - 4 bush

PD Rearick: Photographer /Cranbrook Master's Student (We know him from RO church)
John and I attented PD's photo exhibit "A Mid-Night Road Trip" in evening.
Wow. Very creative.




Saturday June 13
Classmate Gathering at Buca di Beppo in Livonia
Nice size for group conversations
John and I,
Marian and husband Tom and son Rob; Coy and wife Pola; Steve K.





Sunday June 14
Liturgist both worship services (readings)
Took a turn at the free water/lemonade station in front of the church for thirsty guests
at Royal Oak's Metal, Clay, and Glass Festival

Graduation Party for Jenny L.
Reminds me of other graduation parties in other places we have lived
Nice way to celebrate and visit with friends "old" and new

Wednesday June 17
Hauled hose around to water garden around fence John put up to protect plants from being eaten (someone started nibbling on one cucumber plant.)
Ran into a downspout extension with my shin. Ugh. Gash. At least it was through my long pants.
Am watching carefully for infection.


However, I am loving the lovely sight of those plants growing.
And yes, there is a certain peace of bending over, pulling out little weeds.
(Or is it my blood-pressure changing. Ha! Got that from my sister.)






Big weekend for the Tull Family.
Friday July 19, T.Jay and Ann's wedding.
Sunday, July 21, Kira's Grad party.
Lovely. (Photo: With classmates: Donna G., Kip T., Susan S.)














John and I also went to the Detroit River Fest for a boat ride on the Detroit River.
I love the feel of the wind in my face. (Photo: We are on Diamond Jack's River Boat -which was discounted for the Festival- looking toward Detroit and this police boat.)



Tuesday, June 30 Happy Birthday to my brother Allan!

Reading:
-I have used sleepless nights to read novels (it did not matter if I remembered them).
-Darker Than Night by Tom Henderson (not fiction) - My dad's book, significant because it is the account of a case of two Detroit-area hunters, missing for 18 years, the mystery unfolding near where my folks live.
-The Veggie Gardener's Answer Book by Barbara W. Ellis (read and/or skimmer most of it)
-Currently meditatively reading: A Mystic Garden - Working with Soil, Attending to Soul, by Gunilla Norris, sent by long-time friend Barb B.

An Examined Life

It is catch-up time again.
Where have I been?
What have I been doing all month?
It may not have seemed like so much to write home about at the moment.
(Note: As you may guess, I have not used "Twitter".)
However, I recall my intention to live the moments in joy and thankfulness.

A phrase came to mind:
"The unexamined life is not worth living."
I was not sure of its author or context, so I looked it up.
Socrates.
Interesting...So I spent some time reading this and other entries.
Socrates
There is a lot there, of course.
But my connection with those words (besides, perhaps, doctor appointments/exams) is that I do want to take time to reflect, to appreciate...
and now to document.


Norman Rockwell exhibit
Early in May, John and I finally found (or took) time to attend the Norman Rockwell exhibit at the Detroit Institute of Arts (DIA).

I particularly wanted to see:
Posters to Illustrate FDR's Four Freedoms's Speech

1) Freedom of Speech
2) Freedom of Worship
3) Freedom from Want
4) Freedom from Fear
Interesting note: Commentary on the series explained that the common use of the paintings focused the meaning of the speech more narrowly than FDR intended on those in the United States, when his speech actually intended these freedoms for the world.

A while back, I had pondered Rockwell's Thanksgiving table ("Freedom from Want") painting. It seems to illustrate not only an abundance of food, but also a perfect family, an idealized family. It is the kind of picture people may compare themselves against when it seems things are wrong in their own family, in contrast to everyone else's. However, I like to use my imagination to look beneath the surface to stories of what might also be there. Whatever suffering or hardship that I know of (except "want" of course) can be imagined on their faces or in their hearts. But this day, this meal, they will put that aside to celebrate together - with whomever is there this year.


Women's Time Away

A year ago, I stayed home protecting my fragile immune system while my mom and sister attended my "mom's retreat," the overnight women's conference at Mackinac Island that my mom has been bringing us to. They said I would come next time, although I did not look much beyond each month's chemotherapy. However, as chemotherapy #9, my last scheduled infusion, approached on September 23, I asked my doctor about going and he made a point of allowing my October appointment with him to be moved slightly later. After all, I had completed my regimen!

The day came for my sister to arrive from Erie, PA to drive me up north. Instead I received a phone call that she never left town, having landed in the hospital with a heart attack.

Who can explain this story, but my mom was in the hospital the same day - only in northern Michigan!

I just drove up to be with her. However, her doctor allowed her to leave and to go to the island. So we attended the retreat and had a good time. However, my mom was very tired, and it was not the same without my sister.

So, now, by the spring retreat, the anticipation had really built. We were finally all going to be healthy, and enjoy ourselves together! And we did!

It is good to have something to look forward to, and for us it was the Win-Some Women conference. Bonnie arrived at my house Friday, May 8, when we celebrated John's birthday (as we would be missing the actual May 12 date). We walked around my neighborhood, and I showed her places I had discovered while sometimes also talking to her on the phone. We also got food at one of my favorite places, The Inn Season Cafe. Bonus: Bonnie liked it too!

According to my memory, this was my first adult Mother's Day with my mom! As it turned out, John also spent time with his mom back in Dearborn! A good day!

I sometimes say that mostly what we do on Mackinac Island is sit and eat. We also listen.

Bishop Eugene Sutton (Episcopal) spoke about prayer, contemplative listening prayer in particular. He said that prayer is not the opposite of action (as in "there is nothing left to do"), but rather a prerequisite. It assumes a relationship where you invite the Creator Holy God into the core of your being, to see what you would rather leave unseen. There is a silence where we know God does the work, and we are participants in that work.
"Renounce your image of God.
Allow God to be who God is,
rather than who you need God to be."
(Cassian, I think)

Sutton also called on an old proverb in an interview I found:
"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others."

Karen Covell spoke about praying for those in the media instead of boycotting or hating. She is a television producer, and began an organization called Hollywood Prayer Network to encourage that connection, calling Hollywood the "world's most influential mission field". She also encouraged the audience to consider their own "mission field", and making a difference where they live. Interesting concepts.



Over-lapping Scheduling

John left for Annual Conference (for work) the morning that Bonnie and I arrived back in Royal Oak.
I often used to attend those when we went to Albion and later to Calvin College.
They were like a kind of family reunion.


Time with James
While John was gone, I also had a bit of time with James.
We walked up to a new Vietnamese restaurant in Clawson, called Da Nang.
We got rained on, but it was worth it!


Why I Cry
I do not remember crying when I found out I had cancer.
Nor do I remember really crying much since, because of the cancer.

I may have tears at poignant movie scenes.
However, sometimes, tears come unexpectedly.
Who can explain these things?

Twice this month...

My Garden
Several weeks ago, a man came to our door to report on his company's service on our lawn.
He noted for the record that they would stay clear of any applications near our little garden area in the backyard, and that we could switch the service to an organic version. I thought that was later done, but a few weeks after that, I woke up to a notice on the door that the lawn had been serviced again. I started to look up the chemicals online. What if my garden were contaminated? What if I could not have it this year? What if...? I called, and the company said the garden should be fine. The tears passed.

Newspaper Hero Story
The second time tears came this month was when I read an article in last Sunday's Detroit Free Press called, "Heroic Teen Followed In Hero Dad's Footsteps" by Jeff Seidel. Katrina Wert of Reed City and her dad Master Sgt. Michael Wert both risked their lives to save two strangers in the dangerous rip-current of the Atlantic Ocean off North Carolina. The boys were saved. Katrina brought them in. Her father died. In pain and alone, the family moved back to Michigan, where Katrina eventually decorated her wall with quotations, such as "I intend to live forever. So far, so good."



Stealing Buddha's Dinner
by Bich Minh Nguyen

Enough tears. On May 19, I read articles in both the Detroit Free Press and the Grand Rapids Press announcing the coming-of-age memoir by a former Grand Rapids resident and immigrant from Vietnam as the 2009-2010 "Great Michigan Read". "Michigan Read encourages state residents to read the same work of literature." So I quickly checked out and read the copy from my local library, of course! I enjoyed reading familiar names and places, and also her abundant food imagery.



Weapon of Mass Reduction
The "Waistnipper"
I made a new purchase in my continuing effort to protect the post-surgery (weakened abs) hernia just above my navel. It has 14 sets of hooks-and-eyes.



Yard Angels

Last weekend Kathy and Bill arrived at my house again.
Last year, they had already worked more hours than I know to co-create with God a place of beauty.


Kathy stayed for hours, bringing more color and life to the space around us.
Mostly pink, against a dark mulch.
Mmmm. Lovely and peaceful.
I helped a little (and chatted and distracted her more).


Learning: Faithfulness of a Gardner

One day, I noticed our little garden plot of earth was almost covered with a wonder of nature, maple tree seeds/helicopters/darts.
I had thought I might try a wait-and-see approach.
Surely they would not all take hold and grow.
Maybe I could just pull out the shoots that might come up later.
But experienced gardeners advised against that approach, saying too many would come, and the results would be overwhelming. Better to catch them early.
Really?
Because there are a lot, and would take time.

So first John got a leaf-blower and went at it.
A good first-sweep.
But then I started picking them out, one by one, by hand.
A quiet contemplative time.
I thought about what fills our lives, that it is important to not let something that does not belong there to have a chance to take hold and grow
And just when I thought that my weeding job might be good enough, I thought:

"How many cancer cells would I be willing for Dr. Malviya to have left in me?"

And I kept weeding.

John took this photo of me working in the third application of soil amendement.
Now to let it digest so I can plant.

Carrie Is Coming!
Today, Carrie is flying in for a quick visit!
We will make a quick over-night trip up north to celebrate my dad's birthday.
So much to do!
So much to celebrate!

Last Year: Chemotherapy; This Year: A Garden!

The idea started last June when Debbie and Chris came over to help us move in to the new house. When my little new-house tour led to the backyard, I commented that I did not know what that little 9-by-11 boxed-in area, covered with wood chips and a pile of dirt, was for.

They suggested tomatoes!

They said it with such hope and enthusiasm and conviction. They had a vision of a garden!

I, on the other hand, could not even imagine if I would be here this summer.... almost a whole year away.

But the seed of the idea had been planted, and it grew.

My dad grew up on a farm, and kept a garden in our backyard when we were growing up. I did not really help, but I do remember fresh warm tomatoes. I began to see it. Then I began to taste it.

So when our local English Gardens advertised a one-evening class, "How to Grow Your Own Food", I showed up, notebook in hand. Our teacher's name was Jennifer, and she really seemed excited to encourage a new gardener. I took lots of notes and agreed it is a good idea to start simply. I came away knowing that my first step was to have my soil tested. As with anything, a garden needs a good foundation.

Of course, my dreams mean work for John! So he cleared off the top stuff and dug out some soil samples and we dropped off the soil back at English Gardens. And we met George. George talked with us for a while, and I took more notes.

We returned last Friday for our results and to see George, our new "old friend", who spent even more time talking with us. He said our soil's pH is 8.0 (alkaline), which is in a viable range, but that it needs organic matter plus calcium. So we bought a bag of cow manure and a bag of Organica #3.

I had also been thinking about and researching composters, so also asked George about that. I wanted something off the ground that would not invite critters. One in particular that had caught my attention (from another store's ad) was a round ball that could roll around either on the ground, or on its stand, which made it look like a big spider. Since that one would take longer to get and much longer to assemble, we came home with a barrel-shaped tumbler-style composter that day. Between rain and John's full schedule, we finally set it up today! (In the meantime, we gathered and cut up our yard waste and kitchen plant matter.) I am pretty excited about our new composter!

It was simple to assemble too!
(One step at a time, with maybe just a bit of back-tracking.)

Waking Up

Today, like many days, my first thought was that I did not have enough sleep. But I was awake, so I would just have to try again the next night.

However, then I walked around the corner, and WOW!

Morning sunshine streamed into my house!

What a morning!

AND, to top it off, there was a newspaper on my porch!

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

Lawn Hair

Hair is kind of like grass.
We want it to grow,
and then we think we have to cut it down...
to manicure it neatly.

If you saw me right now,
you might need to take a second look to make sure it is me,
whether you remember me with longer hair,
or whether you are thinking of the bald days
(months - ok, pretty much year).

Right now, it seems kind of poofy,
sort of curly-wavy-ish.
In transition.
Last month, it had kind of a petite well-tapered look.
But now.... it seems to be having such a good time coming in,
celebrating growing.
I don't quite have the heart to cut it back yet.


"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Do not be afraid...."
Luke 12:7

Yes! A New Season

It is springtime, and Wednesday was my first oncologist appointment since December.

Dr. Malviya said it is time to move on and address issues for the quality of my future life, such as bone density. ("Future life" has a rather musical sound, I think.)

Since it has been over a year since my hysterectomy, we need to watch for signs of osteopenia (bone thinning) or osteoporosis (porous bone). So he prescribed, and I scheduled, a Dexascan ( for Monday. Wait, do I need insurance pre-approval, as I do for a CT scan? Too bad I did not think of this before the weekend. I will have to find out.)

He also emphasized that I need to make sure I am getting enough calcium (such as a combination of one 600 mg tablet, plus two glasses of milk per day). (I have been doing this.)

Plus - Exercise. Weight-bearing exercise, to try to keep those bones strong!
I still need this to be more consistent!

Another reason for exercise:
We are still watching a small hernia, just above my navel. Hopefully, it will not get bigger. He said, if we need to repair it, we will, but we certainly want to avoid surgery if we can (and greater risk for infection without my lymph nodes). So, for the next year, I need to concentrate on wearing elastic over it. (Just do it, Laura.)

AND... he did not say this, but I must be more consistent with stomach muscle exercises, specifically!

Everything is looking good. He re-checked a urine sample (as follow-up from a December test), and that was fine too.

That bursitis is better too! I took Naproxen for about a week, and my shoulder feels so much better!

So, my next CT Scan is July 27 (remember to wait 1 1/2 hours after drinking the contrast), and my next appointment with Dr. Malviya is August 5.
Summertime.

John and I were in our car on the way home by 8:00 pm. Yes, we were there about nine hours. John worked at his computer, and I walked about an hour (three times around the hospital campus) and did some reading/homework, and drew pictures (Ha!) with Nicole the art therapy intern that I just met. A day to celebrate and focus on the quality of life.

Choose Life
"This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that
I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.
Now choose life, so that you and your children may live,
and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice,
and hold fast to him.
For the Lord is your life,
and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob."
Deuteronomy 30:19-20
as quoted in Prayers and Promises, When Facing a Life-Threatening Illness by Ed Dobson
Given to me by Janey (Trudell) Hennesey


From an Armenian Poem:
"What's left for me on earth?
Only what I have given to others."
From my notes, a translation
from a poem used by the Rev. Fr. Daron Stepanian
at the funeral the father of classmate Mike Mousigian 3-26-09