What does chemotherapy look like?
It seemed rather mysterious to me before I was so personally involved.
So here is a photo to illustrate my experience. I sat in a chair in a room with three other chairs for patients and either one or two nurses at all times.
I was attached to my IV pole which held bags of clear liquid.
The liquids included (not sure I have them all) saline solution; medicine to protect my stomach; Benadryl to help prevent allergic reaction; another medicine to help prevent nausea; and then the two different "chemotherapies", one at a time.
So one arm has the IV needle taped to my forearm (the right arm on this day). There is a pillow on my lap to provide a stable resting place for the arm (and working surface for the nurse). And my other arm (left on this day) keeps a blood pressure cuff Velcroed around my upper arm, which automatically inflates every 15 minutes to take my blood pressure.
Why don't they just give you a shot?
I would say there is too much to put in my system all at once.
It takes about 5 1/2 hours.
Pride and Vulnerability
One side effect of chemotherapy may be nausea. I once told my doctor that I thought I must be "lucky' that I did not have too much trouble with that. I even have been avoiding the post-chemo anti-nausea pills, as they tend to cause constipation. But I also saw it as an accomplishment, as in "I had some nausea, but I walked it off." Sounds tough, huh?
But tough times can't always just be walked off. There is the question of how much control do we have over our lives? Sometimes we do the best we can. But sometimes vulnerability shows through. My toughest times have tended to be about the third day or so of the cycle. But this cycle, I seemed to be hit harder, which does make sense, considering cumulative effects. I have felt not my best the last couple days, keeping in perspective that I would feel better soon. When Carol M. kindly brought over food on Thursday (a perfect day for help), I told her I would "feel better tomorrow". I expected to.
Cinderella at Gilda's Club
I had signed up for a "Spa Day" Friday at Gilda's Club.. I didn't feel much like going anywhere or eating or even drinking water. But they were holding a place for me, and there was something about reflexology, which I thought meant foot massage. Maybe I would feel better if I just went out. So I am glad I went. There was great kindness and yes, foot massage. I even felt like Cinderella when he helped me on with my socks and shoes.
Better
By Saturday, I am starting to feel better. I ate and drank some more water (which is important). And tomorrow, I plan to feel even better.
