Focus on Praise

Psalm 34:1-5

I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
I will glory in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.

I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

A Jacob Story

I was agitated.
I struggled.
I didn't think of it is a Jacob-like experience at the time.
But later, the connection came.

The voice kept calling my name, insistently,
"Laura. " "Laura." "Laura."
"Look at me." "LOOK at me." "Look at ME."

It was more than someone taking my face between their hands to direct my attention.
It was a wresting of my whole body.
There was not so much a visual aspect, but if there was, it might be a little like the Navy Seal character on NCIS-LA.

God wrestled me.
I twisted and turned.
But he said in my ear,
"Laura, Laura, sweetie, Look at me."
It kept up.
Relentlessly.
God was getting my attention.
"Look at me," was the message, "not at your fear."
(And while we are at it, not at the world.)

It later reminded me of trying to manage a determined squirming toddler into a car seat.
And whenever I squirmed throughout the day, he called/turned/wrestled me back,
"Laura, Laura-honey, look at me."

What is it to wrestle with God?
I do not know about Jacob.
But for me, the wresting was like saving a drowning person,
as in "Stop splashing and thrashing, so I can save you."

"Laura, Laura, look at Me.
I love you."

~~~

"Then the man said, 'Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,
because you have struggled with God and with men/humans,
and have overcome/prevailed.'"
Genesis 32:28 (NIV & NRSV)


"Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
until the destroying storms pass by.
I cry to God Most High,
to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
He will send from heaven and save me,
.....
God will send forth his steadfast love and his faithfulness."
Psalm 57:1-3

Who Loves You?

Nobody loves you like your Mommy and Daddy.
At least that is how I think it should be.

I think of that often as I visit with my parents, whether by phone or in person.
I am so glad to hear their voices.
I so appreciate their love and commitment.
So often they drop what that are doing to talk to or help me!
I come away knowing I have been given a dear deep gift of love.
My whole life.
Mom and Dad have taught me love by loving.
And they have modeled God's love by living love.

With thanks...

"Love one another."
(from John 13:34)

Hugs

Hugs
There may be various meanings of hugs.
This is one:
I am really here
and
I am not alone.

Latest tests

Results came in the mail for the May blood tests: the CA-125 (ovarian cancer marker) and the kidney tests (a week before each CT to make sure I can take the IV contrast). Everything looks good. CA-125 is still 11 (good that it is not moving up).

The CT scan was Wednesday. Very kind people were both working and in the waiting room (one woman with colon cancer, one who had a brain scan).

I am waiting for the results of that. I may find out by a mailing. Or I may find out at my next appointment. There is a certain peace in this waiting.


I have been reading the Gospel of Mark. I noticed these themes as I was reading chapter 10:

- People/crowds came to Jesus for his teaching and healing.
- Pharisees came for testing him.
- There were separate intimate teaching sessions for his disciples.
- Jesus spoke for and blest the vulnerable (children, poor).
- Jesus understood and spoke about his mission (betrayal, death, living again, and servant leadership).

I also love the story with Bartimaeus, when Jesus asked him, "What do you want me to do for you?"

"I want to see," Bartimaeus responded.

"Go," Jesus said, "your faith has healed you."

And the response of Bartimaeus, upon receiving his sight?

He followed Jesus.

I love that response and that reminder, that our reponse to Jesus' healing is to follow him.

When Jesus heals, there is a different direction and a different energy.
Life is different.

11

Results are in for Wednesday's CA-125 (blood test): 11. :)
My test in March had gone up to 13 (start of a pattern?), so I am very happy with 11!
I am so thankful, so thankful.

Picture reminder - birthday notes

As I am writing this,I am reminding myself to be more intentional about taking and including photos!

Who took me to lunch on Tuesday?
Kind and fun friend, Kim C.

Who took me to lunch on Wednesday (when John has staff meetings over lunch)?
My dear brother Allan, who also invited James

With whom did I spend my birthday evening?
Wednesday evening supper at church; Christian yoga class at church; Stewardship meeting at church

How did I get to church that evening?
I walked with John, who had left the car in the lot earlier and walked home for me.

Who surprised me with chocolate birthday cake and ice cream?
John, who after our meetings, told me to watch my feet when I entered the car. There was a white cake box on the floor that he had found time to buy earlier. So we ate cake and ice cream around 10:00 pm.

Who was the first to call on my birthday morning?
My dear mom and dad!

Who left birthday greetings on my phone?
My dear sister Bonnie and Charlie, dear John's mom, and Sandy B.

Who called three times that day?
Carrie! (Who said she was stalking me on my birthday. Very funny, Princess!)

Who is making dinner for me on Friday?
John and James. I love looking forward to food - and time with you!


Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
We are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.
Psalm 100