I was agitated.
I struggled.
I didn't think of it is a Jacob-like experience at the time.
But later, the connection came.
The voice kept calling my name, insistently,
"Laura. " "Laura." "Laura."
"Look at me." "LOOK at me." "Look at ME."
It was more than someone taking my face between their hands to direct my attention.
It was a wresting of my whole body.
There was not so much a visual aspect, but if there was, it might be a little like the Navy Seal character on NCIS-LA.
God wrestled me.
I twisted and turned.
But he said in my ear,
"Laura, Laura, sweetie, Look at me."
It kept up.
Relentlessly.
God was getting my attention.
"Look at me," was the message, "not at your fear."
(And while we are at it, not at the world.)
It later reminded me of trying to manage a determined squirming toddler into a car seat.
And whenever I squirmed throughout the day, he called/turned/wrestled me back,
"Laura, Laura-honey, look at me."
What is it to wrestle with God?
I do not know about Jacob.
But for me, the wresting was like saving a drowning person,
as in "Stop splashing and thrashing, so I can save you."
"Laura, Laura, look at Me.
I love you."
I struggled.
I didn't think of it is a Jacob-like experience at the time.
But later, the connection came.
The voice kept calling my name, insistently,
"Laura. " "Laura." "Laura."
"Look at me." "LOOK at me." "Look at ME."
It was more than someone taking my face between their hands to direct my attention.
It was a wresting of my whole body.
There was not so much a visual aspect, but if there was, it might be a little like the Navy Seal character on NCIS-LA.
God wrestled me.
I twisted and turned.
But he said in my ear,
"Laura, Laura, sweetie, Look at me."
It kept up.
Relentlessly.
God was getting my attention.
"Look at me," was the message, "not at your fear."
(And while we are at it, not at the world.)
It later reminded me of trying to manage a determined squirming toddler into a car seat.
And whenever I squirmed throughout the day, he called/turned/wrestled me back,
"Laura, Laura-honey, look at me."
What is it to wrestle with God?
I do not know about Jacob.
But for me, the wresting was like saving a drowning person,
as in "Stop splashing and thrashing, so I can save you."
"Laura, Laura, look at Me.
I love you."
~~~
"Then the man said, 'Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,
because you have struggled with God and with men/humans,
and have overcome/prevailed.'"
Genesis 32:28 (NIV & NRSV)
"Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
until the destroying storms pass by.
I cry to God Most High,
to God who fulfills his purpose for me.
He will send from heaven and save me,
.....
God will send forth his steadfast love and his faithfulness."
Psalm 57:1-3
