Still Catching Up

-Thanksgiving.

I was so looking forward to Carrie coming! And she brought Frank, who was fun to meet and who (many thanks!), helped with the long drive from Philadelphia.

However, there were some missing faces as well. Mom and Dad were not able to come, because Mom's pain and mobility issues have been worse lately. She has been faithfully seeing a physical therapist, but otherwise is mostly staying home, while Dad takes good care of her.

Carrie and Frank took a quick one-day (day-after-Thanksgiving) trip up north to see them with John and me. What fun!

Bonnie and Charlie also were not with us this year, but Bonnie did come home from the hospital (in Erie, PA) that morning and we spoke on the phone!

Otherwise, we all had a good time getting together at Allan's house for Thanksgiving!
John and I; Carrie and Frank; James and Sarah;
Allan and Heather and A.J; Kendall and Eric; Jason and Kaitlin;
Uncle Buel and Aunt Betty
Inez Hice (John's mom)

More Catching Up - Short Spots

- "Where is all your curly hair?"
Hair cut #2 was Nov. 18
It was getting in my eyes!
The curls are mostly gone now, but there are still waves.
I think my Grandma Arlene would like it.

- New committee for me at church: "Igniting Ministries" (Evangelism)
I think part of the purpose of the committee is to remind the church of our primary purpose as Christ-followers: disciple-making.

- I also am involved in "First Adventures", a group at church that promotes keeping physically active for the health of our whole being. Does anyone else want to walk to church with me? To walk anywhere? Just to walk and chat? (John and I are also about to begin a walking program with our insurance company.)

-"Metro Bridges". A new group at church that connects people within city and suburbs. Monday night we gathered with some Second Grace friends, about 34 of us together.

- Choir. Sang at Royal Oak's "Holiday Parade" on our church front lawn, and also at a recent funerals. We also had a pot-luck this past week with voice-warming soup.

Medical Week

Mammogram Monday (Yes, my sister and another friend were also scheduled for Monday!)
(My results: fine. All good news is appreciated!)

Oncologist Wednesday (technically Thursday into the morning)
Primary Care Doctor O'Dowd Thursday a.m.
Dermatologist Dr. Harbeck Thursday p.m.
(Ophthalmologist Dr. Jardon next Thursday)

These appointments seem rather close to process well.
However, I am buoyed by the novelty and comic relief of the scheduling.
Not everyone one gets to see their doctor (Dr. Malviya) at 2:30 in the morning.
I am not scheduled to go back until June 9.

After a few hours sleep, I went on with the Thursday appointments.
A bonus: some dear friend-visiting-time between appointments.

Dr. Malviya streamlined my vitamins.
Dr. O'Dowd said I probably should not lift more than 20 pounds because of the hernia.
Just thought I would throw that in there.

Travel Week

- December 7 and 8 (Monday-Tuesday), I drove to Erie, PA to see Bonnie, and back.
- December 11 and 12 (Friday-Saturday), John and I drove up north to the folks' and cut our Christmas tree.

James and Sarah came up Saturday-Sunday to visit and help with the tree.

It was good to visit, and it was fun to walk through their fairy tale-like snow-covered woods! After we found and cut the "perfect" tree, Dad carried it back in the shovel of his tractor!

We showed pictures to Mom, who was sticking close to the house and her chair. Dad is taking good care of Mom up there.

To Bed!

3:22 a.m.
Just got home from the oncologist's office.
(There were still people after me.)

Stopped by an open McDonald's drive-through for egg sandwich (they're serving breakfast, of course). :)

Everything looks fine, by the way.
I have another blood draw, another CT scan, and see him again in six months!

Thankfully...
and no longer hungry...
off to sleep for another day.

Greetings from Dr. Malviya's Office

1:00 a.m.
I am in the waiting room of Dr. Malviya's office. My appointment was at 4:20 (p.m.), and I think there are only a few people before me now. John has been working on his computer, but I just borrowed it to write a note. It seems there is now internet access here!

The Way To a Sister's House Is Not Long

I have been wanting to visit my sister Bonnie in Erie, PA since she had surgery two weeks ago. Watching the weather reports, I decided to leave Monday of this week, and return on Tuesday. A quick one-night trip. But perfect timing. The weather was fine both ways, and changed to winter almost as soon as I returned home.

We have never taken that exact route, and I have never driven that long by myself before (5 hours). So now I have!

Bonnie is recovering very well, and looks terrific. She moves slowly and with caution, of course. But she is healing and going on with her life!

After much careful thought, considering both her own issues and our family history (since we have had two cousins with the same rare cell-type of cancer as I mine, there seems to be a connection), Bonnie decided it was time to just say good-bye to those offending organs. A courageous decision, it seems to me.

Once her decision to have a hysterectomy was made, she asked for the first available date, which turned out to be two days before Thanksgiving. That meant she and Charlie were not able to join our family Thanksgiving gathering, and we missed them. But, amazingly, she came home from the hospital that day, and we talked by phone.

Good news: the doctor reported that there were no surprises. He did not expect to find cancer, and he did not. The post-surgery cell-tests also were clear!

CT Scan and Blood Test Results

Friday afternoon, I received an envelope in the mail from my oncologist, the results from recent blood work. So I called Gail, Dr. Malviya's nurse, with questions about some "high" readings and about some comments I did not understand. She explained and said not to worry. She also offered the results of Monday's CT scan:

it is fine!
(...which must be sung, not merely spoken)

(She said the CT scan report did did not say the hernia is any bigger. So far, so good with that!)


When people had recently asked how my test went, I had told them I did know yet, but I was just going to ACT healthy!

(More singing!)

Praise the Lord.
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty heavens.
Praise him for his surpassing greatness.
Praise him with the sound of the trumpet,
praise him with the harp and lyre,
praise him with tambourine and dancing,
praise him with strings and flute (image: Theresa and Jeffrey!)
praise him with resounding cymbals.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Psalm 150

PS Thanks, James, for taking care of the RSS (technical aspect)! (per previous post)

rss testing.

We've made a couple changes to the rss feed from the site. If anyone has an email subscription to the site they may need to re-subscribe. Sorry for any inconvenience.

Loving October

Win-Some Women - Mom's Retreat
On October 18, my sister Bonnie drove from Erie, PA to pick me up and continue on the adventure to our parents'. (In the meantime, my mom also celebrated her birthday! Happy 83rd!) We "girls" traveled on to Mackinaw City, then took the ferry (one of my favorite parts! I love fresh air and the wind in my face!) over to Mackinac Island for the Win-Some Women Retreat, where we enjoyed speakers Jennifer O'Neil and Don and Eva Piper, and singer Kathy Troccoli. The music and lessons and good times have remained in my heart.

More Music
I am glad to have joined choir this year, of course, to meet the people there, and for the discipline of continual praise. My prayers can be so full of need. Thankfulness may come with consciousness of goodness. But I need to be more intentional and take time to purely praise God.


Putting the Garden to Bed
John and I found a piece of a sunny crisp October day to put our lovely little garden to bed. John did most of the work (mowing and vacuuming leaves, etc.), as usual. But I sprinkled and dug in a last layer of Organica-3, Cow manure compost, and Shrimp and seafood compost before he covered it with grass clippings and dried leaves for the winter. It looks peaceful. When we recently saw George, our garden mentor at English Gardens, we said "So long for a while."

MRI Results - OK !

Appreciating the lovely day and the opportunity for exercise,
I walked the three miles home after today's women's meeting at church.
I picked up the mail on my way in.
Ah, an envelope from my oncologist.
I opened it to find the results of my MRI.

Results:
No cancer, just "ordinary" pain, called "Trochanteric bursitis".
It is mostly in my left hip, and somewhat in my right.

"There is no occult fracture or dislocation."
"There is no avasular necrosis or metastatic disease."
"No suspicious pelvic visceral abnormality is identified."

I am glad for this news.
I am glad for what it is not.
I will figure out what it is and how to live with (or heal?) it.

Again and again, I am thankful for your care and prayers.

"Oh, Lord....
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well."
Psalm 139:14 (New International Version)

MRI Results Unknown

Thanks for asking.
Thanks for praying.

I would love to report results to you.
I would especially love to report healthy results to you.

However, I just do not know last Tuesday's MRI results yet.
I called the office Friday, and was told it usually takes a week.
I called today, and was told that the nurse (who gives lab results)
is not in, but I can call back another day.

I am glad I decided not to sit home and wait for a call today.
I spent a couple hours at the poll for a friend in my hometown, Dearborn.
[George Darany, running to remain on City Council.
George is the brother of classmate/friend Theresa (Darany) Smith]

Driving in to town gave the opportunity to listen to music from a singer I recently heard on my "mom's retreat", Kathy Troccoli. First I listened to her lively 60's and 70's adaptations (wake-up songs!).

Then I listened to one song over and and over. You can see the lyrics and hear her sing the song at this link: "My Life Is In Your Hands".

Some of the words that kept going through me:
My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without love
Not when my future is with you
My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands
(Kathy Troccoli, Bill Montvilo)

Autumn Colors

(Photos coming)
There are more than one way of looking at and reviewing time.
One is day by day, moment by moment.
Another is to look at events and event groups.
They can become a picture of coordinating and contrasting colors, like a tapestry or an autumn day.
So here is a view from standing back and viewing colors of the season.


Company from Florida
This fall, we were blest with company from two sets of our Florida friends
(in whose homes we have stayed on our visits).
We didn't want to let them go.

Bill and Jean Adcock were in town primarily for doctor appointments.
We were honored that they also made time for a visit to our "new" house.
Unfortunately, we forgot to pull out the camera.
But we sure enjoyed the chance to catch up and eat together!

Kent and Marta Martindale came up to experience the peak beauty of Michigan fall.
Color and rain are both hard to plan, and they had plenty of both.
But our visit was warm and fun!
They had to leave too soon, but not before Marta had our next vacation planned for us. Ha!


Health

Flu shot
Early in October, John and I both had our (basic) flu shot at Kroger.
I wondered how it would work to get a flu shot at the grocery store.
There are a couple chairs in the middle of the aisle, as a little waiting area for the pharmacy.
Would the pharmacist come out while the seated person rolls up a sleeve?
Would patients be invited into the tiny pharmacy one at a time?
No. It is more like drive-through-window style.
I walked to the side pharmacy window and rested my elbow on a little pad on the window sill,
while the pharmacist reached over to my shoulder, and presto!
Done.


Neosporin Toothpaste Mix-up
I mention this for comic relief (and a warning).
While traveling to my parents', I reached inside a small pocket of the suitcase and pulled out a small tube and squeezed some out onto my toothbrush. It looked more clear than I remembered my toothpaste being, so I took a better look at the tube. (Maybe I turned on a light.)
Neosporin First Aid Antibiotic Ointment!
My hero mom gave me a new toothbrush.
But you might be surprised how similar those little tubes look on the backside.

Exercise
I am still living with the hernia (navel area), needing to do "gentle" stomach exercises, in hopes I do not get more. I am also still being sporadic with that exercise (from a book of back exercises). I was temporarily excited about a newsletter from a physical therapist I know. But I think because my initial (phone) request involved the word "Pilates", my doctor was reluctant to let me go ("Absolutely not"). I moped a bit, then made a check-list which I followed faithfully for a week. Then I went out of town.

I will have to start again.


MRI
I have had some mysterious mild hip pain for about a month. So my oncologist sent me for an MRI last Tuesday. I am in waiting mode. It is not that I am praying for arthritis. But I am asking that it is generally something I can live with, and specifically, not cancer.

All for tonight.. more "Colors" tomorrow...

Canoeing the Au Sable River

A rather spontaneous idea.
Maybe it started with one of those "Pure Michigan" ads.
(Turn on your sound, sit back, and listen.)

John had a rare day-and-a-half available.
(Sort of. He still worked on his sermon.)

So we drove up to see my parents over last Friday night.
And we put the canoe (with my dad's help) into the river for a couple hours.
There was not a lot of "color" change, but the views were still beautiful.
And the air... Ah, the air felt so good. So fresh.

Bonus: We saw two noble-looking great blue herons!

First Haircut

(First haircut in over a year and a half, anyway.)

Unfortunately, the photos that included Julie either were not in good focus, or the flash reflected too brightly in the mirror.









But you can see her work, my "before" look, just letting curls reign free, and then my "after" look, Julie's masterpiece.

By the way, that photo leaning against the mirror, IS a photo of Julie that has been "yearbooked".

One Year

September 23, 2008 was the date of my last chemotherapy treatment.
I am thankful for its healing.
I am thankful for healthy cells.
I am thankful for my doctor's watchfulness.
I am thankful for caring prayers and caring family/friends/those I may not even know.
I am thankful for God's mercy.
I am thankful for God's breath of life.

Sunday to Sunday

Enjoying the Garden

We have been enjoying tomatoes from our garden:
-growing;
-changing colors;
-tasting plain or in recipes.

- Gazpacho (a couple versions)
- Tabouleh
- Tomato-Basil-Swiss-Cheddar Quiche (only more like a casserole, as I omitted the crust)
- Bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwiches
- Tomato with a little pomegranate-balsamic vinegar

We have also used the basil for pesto, good with pasta, and also on pizza. Mmmm.
The parsley and green pepper (only two so far) have been good in the tabouleh as well.
We are thankful!


Tomato Triage

A couple Sundays ago, I had an experience in the garden that started with my feet.
It is one of those stories where one thing leads to another.
My feet/legs tend to swell, especially if standing, so I am supposed to wear elastic stockings.
Higher ones are better than lower ones, but I usually only wear the higher ones with skirts.
So Sunday when I came home from church, I just changed into a comfortable jeans jumper.
Long, with slits on the side.

I hiked it up to step over the little garden fence (built to discourage bunnies, which seems to be working so far).
I picked my little handful of basil, and started to step back over the fence. But I must not have picked everything up high enough; something caught and I fell backwards. A pretty soft fall actually onto my garden floor. But my arms flung out, and took down several tomato plants, including snapping off their stakes at the base in the process.

They went down like dominoes. It looked like a tornado hit. Pretty sad. I was fine, except for a small bruise I did not even notice until several days later. I thought of theater masks, comedy and tragedy, side by side, and knew with enough distance this might be a really funny sight.

I called for John, and he kept a calm face as he rescued the garden, putting in new stakes and re-tying the branches. We repaired for hours what only took a moment to put down. Amazingly, most everything still seems to be surviving.

Life is fragile. Life is tough. Life is good.


"Something There is That Doesn't Love a Wall"

What does it take to get down a wall?
Not take down a wall.
Get down.

Last Sunday, our church had a welcome-to-the-new-season (Of course, not just "Welcome Back". We have been here all summer! ) Block Party after worship. As part of the Outdoor Ministry, Jon Cline and son Greg, who are experienced at rappelling, were demonstrating their adventures by making some descents down the four-story church building. Sometimes I watched; sometimes I turned away. Too scary.

But eventually, I learned more about it, and began to see Jon's expertise more in context. Not only did Jon seem very skilled, but his son trusted him. That said a lot to me. His son trusted him.

Through the afternoon, they started teaching a few others to rappel as well. Eventually, I saw possibilities in it. John/my husband climbed down, raising some fun-money for the church.

John rappelling down the church wall

And I wanted to see what the roof looked like anyway. So I ascended the steps and followed Greg to the roof, listened carefully to Jon C.'s instructions, and asked plenty of questions. I put on the full armor of rappelling: the harness; the helmet, the gloves. I watched as Jon securely attached the rope to the harness. And I saw where the other end of the rope was securely tied down. Jon said it was about trusting the equipment. I needed basis to trust. And so I paid attention.

Laura climbing over the wall.

I tried to follow directions the best I could. But since I had previously avoided watching others descending, I did not have much vision. He said the hardest part was just getting over the edge and leaning back. So I am pleased to say that I accomplished one version of "the hardest part". However, once over the edge of the wall, I got stuck there. I did not seem to have the core strength to push away from the wall with my tangled legs.

I grew fatigued as I hung there, not getting my legs into position to push. Finally, I suggested that maybe I just could not manage it. And then Jon calmly related, he could not pull me up from there, so I would have to go down. Ha! Not a scenario we had rehearsed! Of course, I thought maybe someone else could come help. And almost immediately, someone did: Craig Sleeman, down on the street knew that he was needed (no one cried out, "A LITTLE HELP UP HERE!"). So he and Jon quietly pulled me up together. My thanks!

Stuck

Besides a small scrape on my finger, the worst that happened to me that day was the sunburn.
I cannot remember how old I was the last time I was burned this badly!

Not the end of the story.
I had thought about taking a pilates class advertised by a physical therapy group that had helped John/husband's back. I have been frustrated by my lack of discipline for those core muscles and trying to protect and prevent further hernias. So my weakness motivated me to call. The instructor/physical therapist wanted to evaluate me first, and perhaps to work individually with me before any such class. So I called my doctor for a 'scrip. However, he said no (actually, the nurse quoted, "Absolutely not!"), to just wear a girdle and do gentle exercises.

I was really hoping to make some progress before I see him again in December.
I need to call him again, or maybe go in, and maybe rephrase my question.


"He Made Us to Praise Him"

In the spring before I moved to Royal Oak, I read a small book that had been loaned to me about living with cancer. One idea that caught my attention was the healing aspects of writing and of music.

I thought maybe it would be a good idea to join the choir when I moved to my new church.
I sang a long time ago, and used to love it.
Maybe it is time for a new song, I thought.

However, this did not seem like a good motivation to join a church choir: for my own healing.
It sounded self-centered.
So I thought about it and did not proceed.
Then, when fall came and the choir started singing again, they sounded wonderful and the loft seemed so full. They did not seem to need any new people.

So I just listened.
But sometimes at home, I would find myself humming, and I still thought about singing.

I thought of how good the breathing would be for my stomach muscles
(especially since I am having such a hard time being disciplined about regularly exercising them).

And the choir people seemed really nice.
Maybe I could make friends there.

And maybe if I die here, they would sing at my funeral.

Plus, the director does not seem the yelling kind.

I wanted to sing.
But maybe my motives are not pure enough.
And what did I have to offer?

Answer:
I breathe. I have breath.
Not astounding breath.
But, aside from trying not to do anything too embarrassing, I will offer my breathing, as in Psalm 150:

Praise the Lord!
Praise God in his sanctuary;
praise him in his mighty firmament!
Praise him his mighty deeds;
praise him according to his surpassing greatness!
Praise him with trumpet sound;
praise him with lute and harp!
Praise him with tambourine and dance;
praise him with strings an pipe!
Praise him with clanging cymbals;
praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
Let everything that breathes praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!


I breathe and so I need to praise.
And I need to sing.
Complaining is so easy.
There are difficult situations all around, wherever I look.
I ask to share prayers, and the list grows longer.
But I need the discipline of praise.
Beyond all the daily needs.

New Choir friend (and possible relative!) Mary at Fall Choir Picnic

I decided it is ok if there are reasons that singing seems good for me.
Maybe there are a lot of reasons to sing.
But one is that praising God is both good for God and good for me.
It is the order of things.
It is how we are made.

So I have attended two choir practices and have felt warmly welcomed and we are singing praises!

(And that is enough excitement for this Sunday.)

He Made Us to Praise Him
By Bryan Jeffrey Leech/Tom Fettke

He made us to know Him,
to love Him, to serve Him.
We do not deserve Him and all of his grace.
He made us to praise Him,
to need Him, to seek Him,
and then to express Him in wonderful ways.

Lake Michigan - Healing Waters

Yesterday, John and I made another quick trip, to Muskegon to pick up John's mom from a visit with childhood friend Doris.

West Michigan has been "home" for most of our adult lives, including raising our family there. It was hard to pass through so briefly. However, we did squeeze in a few minutes to put our feet in Lake Michigan. (I wore water shoes, which would please Dr. Malviya.)

I remember the song:
I’ve got peace like a river…
Joy like a fountain…
Love like an ocean…

Maybe there should be a verse for Lake Michigan.

Future

"Future" Thoughts

Recently (again), I have been thinking about the concept of "future", of how it is really beyond my control, so what should I think about it?

On the one hand, it seems naive, even arrogant, to assume the future.
On the other hand, it seems depressing to assume no future.
Actually, no one knows exactly what "the future" holds.
But it is life-affirming to remember the love of family and friends, all woven together into a picture larger than I can imagine, all holding me up to a warm healing place close to God.

At this place in my journey, my tests say that I am stable. My emotions may not always be. And yet, I know God's great healing love, often through the kindness of others, gives me strength. I pray that for you as well, if you ever may have those "moments".

May God fill your life with healing love and joy.

[From a note I wrote to a friend.]



More on “Future”:

- "...The worship of the church locates us, precisely between a past we reverently remember,
and a future in which we firmly believe..."

- "...Our future may be beyond our vision,
but it is not completely beyond our control..."
Senator Edward Kennedy quoting his brother Robert, as told by Rev. Hession

Rev. Mark R. Hession (Of Our Lady of Victory, Centerville, Masssachusetts)
at the funeral of Senator Edward Kennedy 8-29-09
Funeral transcript
Funeral details


Jeremiah's encouragement to the exiles:

"For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord,
plans for your welfare and not for harm,
to give you a future with hope."
Jeremiah 29:11

Tiger Baseball

I said I would go with John and his Confirmation Class to a Tiger Baseball Game.
However, it rained that day.
It rained that night.
We went anyway.(I considered staying back, not wanting to sit in soaking rain.)

However, the rain let up for most of the game.
Ah... What fun. I admit I was excited just to see the field!
And besides that, the Tigers won!

Tim Up North

When Cousin Tim was still in town from Texas, John and I drove him up north for a fun quick overnight visit with my parents. There was some rain, but we were still able to walk in the fields and woods both days.
How beautiful!
How musical was the sound of the wind in the trees!
And how peaceful was the gentle breeze on our faces!

P.S.
Fresh air...
Sign of bear...

Oh yes... watch where you walk.

Summer Celebrations

Homecoming Out of the Rain
With joy and appreciation...

Since 2001, the summer after we moved back to southeast Michigan, I have enjoyed (hosting responsibilities for) our class table at Dearborn's Homecoming. Lovely day in the park.

This year, a kind out-of-town classmate -Karen D.S.Trask- invited us to her hotel, in case of rain. So, after waiting in the unrelenting rain all morning and being convinced it may only get more stormy, several us did meet there, enjoying a series of conversations, topics changing as people came and went.







There were also the traditional cake, also lunch, photos, and even a spontaneous book signing by classmate/author Frank Julian for his God's Top Ten List.








Eating with Berrys
With joy and appreciation...

For years... For YEARS, I have been hearing about Doug Berry's pasta. Being enticed by descriptions of heavenly flavors and textures and aroma and beauty! Finally, this week, John and I ate with Doug and Cindy and Patrick.
Homemade pasta!Al dente homemade pasta!
With salmon and vegetables and a delicate dill sauce with cheese.
The pasta was fun to anticipate, and even better to taste.


This food and family hospitality made me float on Happiness clouds!




Shopping With Cousins
With joy and appreciation...

My cousin Tim Ryan comes to Michigan from Texas most years (if not every year). I do not always see him. But this year, he and his parents, Uncle Buel and Aunt Betty, along with cousins Judi and Donna and their mom, Aunt Veora, and I all gathered for a visit with cousin Ralph at the Tanger Outlet Mall. Part of that was a cousin shopping-side-trip, taking in a few sales. After waiting my turn for a fitting room for a simple white top, Judi asked if I wanted her to wait by the fitting room to see how I look. Ha! Wow, I do not spend much time with cousins, and shopping is not normally so much fun. We all did buy something, and enjoyed getting good "deals"! (Thanks to Judi for this photo! Don't we kind of look like sisters?)

Gift of Tears

I planned to spend Saturday at my hometown Homecoming. We planned to host a "table" (mini-reunion), but of course, the rains poured down. Several people did meet, first in the rain, waiting under a borrowed canopy (along with other visitors and workers), then at a visiting classmate's hotel. It was good to see them, and I was thankful that they even considered meeting.


Most people had at least heard from me in the last year though my classmate email newsletters. However, one person that I had not seen was one who visited our area last year as a friend of a classmate, and he also volunteers there. He seemed friendly and out-going in a rather tough-sounding way.

Shortly before our classmate group left the canopy for Plan C (classmate's hotel), he walked up to me, close to my face, and quietly asked how I was. He said that his friend had told him a little about me last year, and if I ever felt like someone was thinking of me, that he was. There were tears in his eyes.

What a dear person. He had only met me once before, a year ago, and he showed such caring. What a tender-hearted compassionate gift!

Time: a gift of perspecive

I just realized that I did not label "2008" in my schedule of dates on the top of the right-hand column of my blog. There are all the months. But no year.

When I first started this blog, I had no concept of "this year" in the context of any other future years. But now, almost a year and a half past surgery, I am writing "2008" next to that first January date. I am still here. I have been both enjoying and contributing to life.

In time, my perspective has lengthened.

Better

I was actually done with my 2:00 pm oncologist appointment by 8:15 p.m. tonight.
I had prepared a lot more things to do while waiting.

However, I did get to walk outside for an hour.
Lovely day!
And I checked in with a cousin and two aunts by phone.
After I came back to the office, I read my A Mystic Garden, Working with Soil, Attending to Soul book for a while.

In the meantime, Nicole, the art therapist arrived in the waiting room and invited patients to come with her and participate in projects. I tried out the stamp pads, but mostly I talked. (I was the only one with her.) She had some very insightful questions.

By the time we were done, it was time for my appointment!

Dr. Malviya said my test results look good.
- In response to the high MCV score (refers to size of red blood cells, a deficiency of maturation), take folate (folic acid) and vitamin B-12. So we bought some on the way home.
- Don't worry about the high eosinophils score.
- Regarding the hernia, it will get worse in time, but for now, just keep wearing compression/elastic over it.
- As for the swollen legs, the longer (thigh-high) compression stockings are better than the shorter (knee-high) ones.
(If you ever see me trying to adjust all the stuff under my clothes, please pardon me. Something is falling down, or turned in and jabbing me.)
- Keep exercising, and exercise more.
- Come back in four months. (The routine: with a CT scan a week prior, and a blood draw a week before that.)

So I am doing well.
A good day.
Thank you.

"What a slow process it is to learn that an essential part of working, in a garden or in life,
is to let what is happening happen!
Of course, we must do our part,
but equally we must allow ourselves and our circumstances to simply be,
to evolve without force."
from A Mystic Garden (from "Autumn", p. 82)

CT Scan Results, etc.

My CT scan results came in the mail today. (I was not expecting them by mail. I had already left a message on [nurse] Gail's phone at the office.)

After more than a page of description (not all of which are clear to me), the concluding "Impression" reads:

"1. No evidence of recurrence or metastatic disease.
2.) Small paraumbilical hernia as described above."

So, good news about no evidence of disease! Thank you!
And no surprise about the hernia. (sigh)

I will see Dr. Malviya on Wednesday, where he will explain more (2:00 p.m. appointment, so I do not plan to be home before midnight).

I had taken a break from watering the garden and flowers, thinking I would wind the hose back later because it was heavy (hear a little whine). After opening my mail, I went back outside and wound the hose, carefully getting out the kinks, quietly thankful for strength and breath.

Inside... I opened up the windows so I can hear the wind in the trees while I write.


Weekend with Carrie and the 'Rents

Carrie passed through town again this weekend and is now back home in PA. We met up at the Mennonite Relief Sale by my folks' place. The weekend event is held in the woods on the Oscoda County Fairgrounds. The point is to raise money for world relief, but is a fun community social event as well. I just talked to my mom, who said the quilts brought in about $32,000, one of them alone bringing over $3,000. The total for the event was about $142,000 (at least preliminary figures?). I am always amazed at what they do in the middle of the woods.


We all arrived from different directions in time for the Friday night bean supper (simplicity is a theme of Mennonites). Saturday morning, John took off to do a wedding. Carrie and I stayed into the afternoon, while Carrie tried to examine a few lifetimes' worth of Grandma's photos. Then Carrie and I drove back to our house, and on Sunday, Carrie drove on to PA. We were so glad to see her!



Wind In My Face

Saturday Morning on the back of my dad's motorcycle...

Another summer that we didn't go fishing.
It is easy to attach meaning to events...
...Events to people.
Sit in a little boat and go fishing with my dad, because that is what my dad does.
He would always want to go fishing.
But what if he does not feel like it sometime?
Then I sit on the back of his motorcycle, riding to the fair to bring home lunch.
I am not really a motorcycle rider either.
I am terrifyingly thrilled, or thrillingly terrified.
But we go someplace, and we come back.
We are alive and the air in my face feels good.
So good.

A man once told me at the funeral home visitation for his father that he always hunted with his dad, but he did not really want to kill animals any more. He kept going, because that is what they did. Did he please his father? Did his father approve of him? Did his father love him? I saw those questions in his loss.

Perhaps he took those questions to his own grave.

Of course, people often find it easier to love what seems like them.
And yet...
I am not my parents.
My children are not me.
And yet...
I know my parents love me.
And our children know we love them (not that we always behave perfectly).

So obvious.
Yet real questions.
People sometimes wonder:
"Do people love me if I am not like them?"
"Do I love them if they are not like me?"

God made such an amazing variety of people.
And I love the wind in my face while I think these things.


First Fruit


We have had some parsley and cilantro, but other than that, our first harvest (ambitious-sounding word) came Saturday, when we picked our first cucumber! Wow! So John and Carrie and I had fresh-garden-picked crunchy cucumber with our salad!

New word: "bolt": what a cilantro plant does all too soon, starting to produce flowers and seeds, instead of concenrating on those fragrant leaves.



Tomatoes Ripen at Night

Both George, my English Gardens (agronomist) mentor, and Jill M., my Master Gardener friend, recently told me that tomatoes ripen overnight. But they need enough warmth during the night.

We have a lot of green tomatoes that seem to be waiting for those warmer nights. When those warm nights do come, and those tomatoes go on to perfection, we will celebrate greatly with gazpacho!

What about people?
Sometimes it seems they mature in their nights.
But what if their nights are too cold and desolate?
Not the best climate for them either.

Lord, I pray for warmth in the night... in so many places.

What Difference Will Your Life Make?

John and I brought home a movie from the library last week on our anniversary, and just made time to watch it last night when I he got home from a meeting. It's called The Emperor's Club. (I would recommend seeing it before reading about it.)

The cover said it was "inspiring".

If a movie/book about a dog is "inspiring", it seems the dogs often die:
[I removed this list, in case anyone has not seen the movies/read the books I mentioned, and posted it in the "Comment" section, in case you do care to see the list.]

If a movie about a person is "inspiring", I wonder if a character might get cancer and die.
Not in this movie.
He is a teacher of western civilization at a boys' academy (and is played by Kevin Kline).
Main themes are integrity and hope.

John and I would watch it again (and would study it), and we recommend it!

The teacher teaches:
"Great ambition and conquest without contribution is without significance.
What will your contribution be?
How will history remember you?"

CT Scan Day

This morning, I had another CT scan.

After drinking a cup of "contrast", I walked around the hospital, inside and out. (Dr. Malviya likes an hour-and-a-half wait for the contrast to circulate.) I stopped over at Dr. Malviya's office and picked up a copy of my blood test from last week. (The CT people already had their copy; I just wanted to see the results myself.) The tests needed (for liver function) for the CT scan were fine, but my MCV (mean corpuscular volume) and eosinophils were high. I am not sure what that means yet. (Looked it up, but still not sure.)

But as I was walking around, I decided that if someone is starting to know where hospital drinking fountains are located, that might mean the person is too familiar with the hospital.
Ha!

On the other hand, walking outside, enjoying the beautiful summer blue sky and soft breeze, I loved being there, close to the hospital, but outside.

I also thought my funniest experience so far in the day was noticing the signs on a about-waist-high-or-so brick wall parallel to the front of the hospital, along the pick-up lane: "For safety. Please do not sit on wall." I wondered if people used to sit there and to smoke. Maybe someone sat up there and fell backwards. I pictured Humpty-Dumpty. Legs flying up. A small amusement.

There is a mural over the CT table/machine of the Grand Canyon. Ah... Sometimes it is good to think of other places, even when it is good to be where we are. Life is bigger than Here.

Happy #32 Anniversary John!

Memories

John and I met right after high school at our summer jobs as camp counselors at Camp Dearborn's Children's Resident Camp (the Children's Camp is now a golf course). Our boss was John Lance. We were married four years later on a hot hot July Saturday afternoon at my childhood church, Calvary Baptist (which was eventually sold to Hill Memorial Church of God in Christ, who warmly welcomed John and I on a visit years later) . My sister Bonnie was my Maid of Honor. Bridesmaids included John's sister Karen, and school friends Terry, Janey, and Nancy. John's Best Man was school/Camp friend Tom Hartley, and his Groomsmen were my brother Allan, seminary friends Mark S. and Warren, and MSU/Camp buddy Mark G.

John's mom and sister helped prepare the bridesmaid dresses and made the veils. And the women made their own dresses. It seemed like a good idea at the time to save money. (Yikes.) What good sports! Thank you!

Our reception was held in our church basement ("Fellowship Hall"), as were most I had attended at the time. The dinner was prepared with love by family friends, Gene and Leah Long. (It did not last too long, as there was no drinking or dancing - were not in my experience.) We spent the evening at my family's house, opening gifts and saying good-bye. Then John drove me off to see the mountains and the ocean for the first time.







Two years ago...
We spent our 30th anniversary in Kruger National Park, while on John's sabbatical in South Africa.
Ah, listening to the lions roar at night through our tent...









Last year...
James took us to dinner in our new town of Royal Oak, in the middle of chemotherapy sessions.
I was glad to be there, thankful to be with them.

To John:
This year...
More than ever, I am thankful, so thankful to be here.
So thankful for you, my husband.
I was just talking with my walking friend Sue C. about the gospel according to "Sabrina" (words of wisdom from a favorite movie) about living in and being thankful in the reality of life... right this mintute. (And not living in illusions.)

Long ago, when we were dating, and usually living far apart while in school/seminary, and so writing lots of pen-and-paper letters, you wrote a metaphor of a living, growing oak tree relationship, and its strength. And now, we are living in Royal Oak, and I appreciate the gift of your life, and our life together, this oak tree, more than ever.

I love you.
With joy...

Stretching Out July

Vacation - Part 2
We took a few days for a drive west to see dear friends.
(Unfortunately, sometimes we forgot about our camera.)

John and Laura Busch (yes, same first names; that's part of the charm) from Hartford, where we lived for 8 years, and where our children were born, and where I sometimes substitute taught, mostly at Red Arrow Elementary, where John B. has been principal, and where Carrie attended kindergarten and first grade). We had lunch in Lawrence. (I wanted all the desserts.)

Chicago area

Terry and Tom C. hosted us at Poundcake Farm (NW of Chicago), a lovely place of both peace and activity, with flower and vegetable gardens and even a baby deer sighting.


Good news/Good news: We were planning on Terry having a flexible schedule (fondly recalling joyous kitchen capers). As it turns out, we arrived just as Terry was beginning a new job! Good news for her! How gracious to have us anyway.

We had a (Brookfield) Zoo day with Terry and Tom.

Besides good talks and good food, we also enjoyed Poundcake and Paczki (their graceful playful greyhounds).

While in town, we also caught up and ate with John's colleague/friend Dean Francis at Millennium Park.













Susan Smoley (school friend) and the Art Museum (new Modern Wing)
We met Susan on the Metra train, a couple stops down from Terry, and commuted into the City together for a museum visit. A quick spontaneous connection!


Then...
Barb B. from Hartford, who now lives near her sons by Indianapolis, and who gathered her family for an evening visit, including our introduction to her two lively, healthy grandsons!
We saw Stephen (we share our age) and Janet; and Matthew (wow, all grown up!, and who also wonderfully landscaped Barb's yard) and Jackie, who kindly gave us their evening.
And food, lots of good food. Ah.
Barb also brought us to church with her, St. Luke's United Methodist Church in Indianapolis, Indiana, where we "met" John Wesley (rather, experienced a first-person narrative by Rev. M. Bert Kite).

We are so thankful for our friends and their generous time and graciousness.

Travel notes...
John and I finished two audiobooks together in the car: David Baldacci's Camel Club stories (mysteries),
The Collectors and Stone Cold. They helped with my road-restlessness.

Work
Yes, there is work to be done...
We celebrate life's joys, in the midst of everything.
Sadly, budget concerns often seem to cast shadows (even) over church/work life.
And we hold on to:

Do not sorry about anything,
but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving
let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God,
which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:6-7)

July So Far

(Photos on their way...)

Fourth of July
Visited church family campers and enjoyed a meal together!

Garden...
is growing.
There are actually (green) tomatoes!
Called the exterminator again though for neighborhood rats.
Hopefully they will be gone before tomatoes are ready.

Vacation Time with John - Part 1
Visited Mom and Dad up north.
Went canoeing on the AuSable River with John for the first time.
(No sharp turns and tipping over and ruining camera this trip.)
It was really beautiful!
(John has been on this river with James and also with my dad.)

Focus:
Look ahead, down the river, but also keep a shorter focus.
To the right at the shoreline: Great blue heron
Above, flying toward us: Bald eagle
To the left, just into the woods: a Doe
On the water's surface: Sometimes a reflection of the sky and clouds
Into the depths of the water: sometimes stones on the shallow bottom; sometimes dark expanse
(Of course, sometimes logs to be steered around!)

Back home...
and at a bridal shower for family friend Leanne!
Both Bonnie and Mom (with Dad) were in town for it.
Saw many other friends and family from Calvary days....

Vacation Sunday
Always fun to decide: where will we go today?
Visited the R.O. First Baptist Church today.
(Pastor - Dr. David Nichols - is a friend of John's from the community pastor's association.)
Really deep worshipful service.
Beautiful worshipful music with organist Min Sook Chung.
Difficult decisions ahead for them... preparing for a meeting this week.
The community has less families, decreasing over the last 40 years.
And there are many people for whom attending church is "not on the radar".
So what to do...
New directions and opportunities await.
(Some parallels with our own church...)

Closing Hymn:

My life is in You, Lord
My strength is in You, Lord
My hope is in You, Lord
In You, it's in You

I will praise You with all of my life
I will praise You with all of my strength
With all of my life
With all of my strength
All of my hope is in You


Postlude:
"Great Is Thy Faithfulness"

Ordinary Time

Ordinary Time:
Sometimes recognized in churches as a season between Pentecost and Advent.
For me, this period has seemed rather an Ordinary Time.
Each ordinary moment being thankful for health.

Thursday, May 28
Carrie flew in to Detroit!
Company prep.
Carrie helped a lot, including chopping veggies for taco salad and making a fruit tart and pecan pie








Company
John's family
John's mom, John's sister Karen, Phil
Anita & son
Annemarie with daughters.












Friday, May 29
Drove up north - John, Laura, Carrie & James - our family!
to "Grandma and Grandpa Hall's" place
Walked in the fields and woods with Grandpa.
Ah, fresh air.
Ate yummy food.
Looked at photos with Grandma.

Saturday, May 30
Celebrated Grandpa's birthday!

Drove home to Royal Oak
(Have to keep track of where current "home" is.)


Sunday, May 31
Jason and Kaitlin came over for dinner,
along with our family and Sarah
Allan stopped by after work, and volunteered to take Carrie to the airport
Carrie left. :(
Still, we were glad she came!

Back to church for an 80th birthday party - Chris C.


Wednesday, June 10
Volunteer/help with registration at County Commissioner Gary Woronchak's Senior Conference in Dearborn. (high school classmate).
Invited John's mom to attend, and spent the night at her place in Dearborn. Wild PJ party. Ha.

Friday, June 12

(Talked to George at English Gardens...)
Planted the garden!
Tomatoes - 8 plants (4 Chef Jeff Better Boy, 4 Chef Jeff Celebration)
Basil - 8 Chef Jeff - Green Bouquet (I think I am more used to "sweet" basil, but I did not see that variety the day I bought this.)
Green/Red Bell Peppers -1 Chef Jeff California Wonder; 2 Better Belle
Cilantro (Did not know it is also called coriander)
Parsley - 8 curly
Cucumbers - 4 bush

PD Rearick: Photographer /Cranbrook Master's Student (We know him from RO church)
John and I attented PD's photo exhibit "A Mid-Night Road Trip" in evening.
Wow. Very creative.




Saturday June 13
Classmate Gathering at Buca di Beppo in Livonia
Nice size for group conversations
John and I,
Marian and husband Tom and son Rob; Coy and wife Pola; Steve K.





Sunday June 14
Liturgist both worship services (readings)
Took a turn at the free water/lemonade station in front of the church for thirsty guests
at Royal Oak's Metal, Clay, and Glass Festival

Graduation Party for Jenny L.
Reminds me of other graduation parties in other places we have lived
Nice way to celebrate and visit with friends "old" and new

Wednesday June 17
Hauled hose around to water garden around fence John put up to protect plants from being eaten (someone started nibbling on one cucumber plant.)
Ran into a downspout extension with my shin. Ugh. Gash. At least it was through my long pants.
Am watching carefully for infection.


However, I am loving the lovely sight of those plants growing.
And yes, there is a certain peace of bending over, pulling out little weeds.
(Or is it my blood-pressure changing. Ha! Got that from my sister.)






Big weekend for the Tull Family.
Friday July 19, T.Jay and Ann's wedding.
Sunday, July 21, Kira's Grad party.
Lovely. (Photo: With classmates: Donna G., Kip T., Susan S.)














John and I also went to the Detroit River Fest for a boat ride on the Detroit River.
I love the feel of the wind in my face. (Photo: We are on Diamond Jack's River Boat -which was discounted for the Festival- looking toward Detroit and this police boat.)



Tuesday, June 30 Happy Birthday to my brother Allan!

Reading:
-I have used sleepless nights to read novels (it did not matter if I remembered them).
-Darker Than Night by Tom Henderson (not fiction) - My dad's book, significant because it is the account of a case of two Detroit-area hunters, missing for 18 years, the mystery unfolding near where my folks live.
-The Veggie Gardener's Answer Book by Barbara W. Ellis (read and/or skimmer most of it)
-Currently meditatively reading: A Mystic Garden - Working with Soil, Attending to Soul, by Gunilla Norris, sent by long-time friend Barb B.