To See Thee More Clearly!

(A note from John's cyber-pen). The song from the musical, Godspell, lifts three prayers: "to see thee more clearly, love thee more dearly, follow thee more nearly". Laura called from her parents this morning to tell me the news that her mother's cataract surgery went very well. They were due at the hospital in Alpena at a very early hour, completed the procedure, then enjoyed breakfast before returning home to Fairview.

God is good.

And this has been a year filled with God's grace. So, what a way to celebrate the one-year anniversary of Laura's cancer surgery: to be able to drive North to offer care to her mother and father at the point of Leoda's eye surgery.

So, Laura's mother will see more clearly; and all of us who have eyes open to the goodness of God especially in the midst of challenge can see, crisp and clear, the goodness.

One Year: Flowers to Celebrate!

Today is my one-year anniversary from the cancer surgery.
I had not thought much about it.

However, Tuesday afternoon, my friend Jan K. appeared at my door - with flowers!
How beautiful!

And what a long trek!
It was so good to see her!

And so I celebrate, with thanks!

Body and Mind Disipline

Walking
I am trying to keep walking. But there is a lot of ice out there!
However, Monday night John and I walked 5.4 miles. Felt good!

Worry/Calm
Sometimes I have been so worried, thinking about cancer, cancer, cancer.
That comes and goes.
Through Sunday's Disciple study, and Monday night's walk, I was reminded again not to spoil today with worry. There are mottos for that: "One day at a time." "Make today count". "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today's trouble is enough for today." Ha! Good advice!

Classmate Gathering at Pronto! in Royal Oak

Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Back: Sue Chevalier; Denise (Gallinat) Pentescu; Kip Garwood-Tull
Front: Laura; Kathy (Holden) Harrison; Theresa (Darany) Smith

What fun! Some of us had not seen each other in many years!
As it turns out, Theresa and I are both celebrating our one year anniversaries (cancer surgery) this week!

And Theresa, I love that you always bring your camera! Thanks!

Saving My Sole(s)

(Toes, really, but I will get to that... )

Here I will respond to two Comment Writers:
(under my entry "P.S")

Dear Bob and Deanie,

What a road you are on!
Thanks for letting me know what was up with you.
And thank you so much for faithful care and prayers!

Best wishes and prayer in Deanie's recovery and in your caring for her.
I am thankful for support you are receiving as well.
Also best wishes as you make decisions about possible future living arrangements.

In Christ's healing love,
Laura



Dear Deb,

Thank you so much for writing!
I am honored.
I am glad to "meet" you and for your progress in your journey!
I wish and pray the best for you!
Wow, we both have Dr. Malviya.

As for toe numbness and how long to continue chemotherapy...
I can only tell you about my experience.

As you may have read, I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer last January, and had a hysterectomy.
I was not focusing on numbers, so may earlier have omitted some statistics.
Dr. Malviya did suggest openness, so in case anyone does not know, here they are as I know them.

My Staging is 3A.
That means the cancer was found beyond the point of origin.
Loose cells.
But they were not found to be settled any particular place.
All visible cancer was removed in surgery.

My Life-Expectancy Percentage, as he gave it back then:
In 5 years, 50-60 %
(Because of loose cells and because of the type of cells, papillary serous)

I was prepared to hear him say something lower, so I found hope in that number.
My perspective is that numbers are like I have said about my hair:
"It is what it is. It is neither more important, nor less important."
Who knows?

When I went to my 35-Year Class Reunion in August, someone looked in my eyes and said,
"See you at the 40-Year Reunion."
I am looking forward to that.

With that said, I will go on to say that I had no trouble agreeing to nine sessions of chemotherapy.
I should also say that I have not had horrible experiences of sickness with the chemotherapy.
It certainly affected me. But I was thankful, thinking it could have been much worse.

As for my toes... I tried to keep moving them, either walking or just wiggling them when I was sitting. I sometimes used little warm water soaks, at Dr. Malviya's suggestion. He also mentioned a Dr. Scholl's little foot spa, but I never decided which one, and ended up not buying one. I used (and still wear) warm socks. He made a point of saying "nylons" were too thin (not a problem for me).

My secret medicine for this though is probably my husband, who would rub my feet at night. (Still does) Keep that circulation moving!

I still have just a bit of numbness, but Dr. Malviya's question to me seemed stronger, "Do you feel your feet when you walk?" Mine were never that bad.

As I said, this is my experience, and the ideas may not be new at all to you.

Perhaps we will meet in the office some day.

Best wishes and prayers in your decisions and healing.
Laura

Catching Up Again

Thanks for caring.
Thanks for asking.
Especially, thanks for praying... something I am now doing more for you as well.


Questions, there are Questions

When are you going to feel better?
When are you going to have your energy back?
When will you be back to normal?
When will you be as good as new?
When will you be a productive member of society?
When do have to stop being extra nice to you because you are sick?
When are you going to be available to be there for anyone else?

I have only heard a couple of those questions out loud.
Mostly they are echoes in my head.

But they reflect a change of my monthly rhythm of
seeing my oncologist and
having chemotherapy.

Now what?
Yes, I am a vulnerable human being.
It is not as if I just got over a cold and will now go on with my life as before.
What else?
Vulnerability is only part and does not define me.
(Reminder to self.)
There is a book that I have never read, but have always been intrigued by the title:
How Should We Then Live?
(by Francis Schaeffer)

I like that question.
How shall I then live?

An examined, and
active
life...


On the other hand...
It would be fine to contemplate during the daylight hours.
There is no particular virtue in lying awake at night pondering the mysteries and answers of the universe.
So that is one goal, a more active and contemplative daylight life, and more sound sleeping when the sun goes down.

Questions Linger
(That's life.)
That urinalysis from December 15 began questions. The repeat on December 29 was fine. No blood. No infection. But I wondered why there seemed to be a problem in the first place. During surgery a nodule was found on the bladder that was first suspected of being malignant, then not shown to be. So I wondered if there could be a connection. The nurse called back on January 6, and just said that if I have any symptoms or questions to call Dr. Malviya. Now that I think of it, did I really want that tone of understanding and responsiveness? Or did I hope for a final, "You are perfect; you are fine; you will never be vulnerable again."?




So What About Christmas?

Wow, Christmas, was good, and I do not entirely consider it over.

Carrie did not come home for Christmas.
Or, as she says, she "stayed home" for Christmas.
(Well, she has never lived in this place.)
We missed her a lot. But we understand that she did not have much time off from work, and travel is very uncertain, either by road or by air. We want her safe.

We talked on the phone and she even mailed us presents, which included a very cool "alternative gift" to Joy-Southfield Community Development Corporation for the free health clinic.

"I was sick and you took care of me...."
Sounds like exactly what Jesus would want for his birthday.


My parents drove down Thursday, Christmas Day, and returned to their home on Saturday. A quick trip. But they needed to be at their church Christmas Eve and the Sunday after Christmas. Good model of dedication!

I always appreciate them making the drive down, and it was good to see them.
We had a fun time on Christmas Day, and had a simple dinner here with them and James.
Allan came over with Heather and AJ for a while before dinner.




Friday, we four drove over to the son of our friends Bill and Jean Adcock, who were visiting from Florida. It was good to see them all! (with Bob & Jan)





Later in the day on Saturday, John and I saw our friend, my classmate John B., on a visit to his parents from his home in Chicago, a long train ride away.

Gifts
It seems a bit unusual to mention gifts. And yet, I have a few unusual ones. (Not all necessarily for Christmas)

Bigelow Cranberry Apple Herb Tea. I had not been able to find this in stores, so Sarah (James' girlfriend) ordered some for me!

T-shirts. If you look at me wearing it, you see a lovely design on the shirt. If I look down on myself wearing the shirt, I see a word of inspiration among the design! Spirituali-T's. This was a gift of encouragement from a friend in Australia and her mother.

iPod. What? Yes, a shocking gift sent from a friend to celebrate the completion of the scheduled chemotherapy! And to encourage me in walking! I have had fun figuring it out, and James is helping me manage the inner workings.


Walking

I have not walked outside the last few days, as I am afraid of the ice that I carefully stepped around before the snow covered it up. It is probably ok to get back out there though. (I am writing this over a few days before publishing. We did walk on Tuesday!)

John and I have taken a few unusual walks. One day we walked north to a quieter street parallel to 13 Mile, over to explore a little woods. One night we walked north to 14 Mile and around. One day, after setting out, we decided to head to Costco on Stephenson Highway in Madison Heights. We had no money in our pockets, but they had restrooms and warmth.



Church
When I first came here, I had been a little afraid that my new church might feel dumped on with a needy-damaged-goods-minister's-wife. (Not my total outlook)

But I found compassion in them, and perhaps a connection to their own brokenness.

And now, seeing my head often uncovered, with new hair looking possibly like a real style, I may seem like a visible sign of hope and renewed life. Maybe it is a little like spring and new buds on trees.

Also, I have been a reader/liturgist recently, for the Bethlehem Marketplace in December and for Christmas Eve and for the two Sundays after Christmas. I get pretty excited reading those stories!


Christmas Tree
What about that Christmas tree? Ah, it has been such fun having a bit of my dad's woods in my house. Not that it needed decoration to be beautiful. But we - John mainly - put little lights and decorations on it anyway for fun. A happy sight. I have been reluctant for him to take it down... always a bit sad. But it is about to leave.

Recent Disciple Bible Study Lesson
A few weeks ago now, we read the book of Daniel for our Sunday evening study. You may have heard the expression: "The writing on the wall". It comes from the fifth chapter of Daniel. The king gave a banquet filled with luxury and excess. He even brought in the gold goblets that had been taken from the Temple, and they drank out of them. However, there appeared writing on the wall that no one could understand until Daniel was brought in to interpret. The message was Destruction. What was the immediate reason? They brazenly drank out of vessels that belonged in the Temple.

The message I took away from this: Do not misuse God's vessels. Something that is holy, that was intended for good - use it as it was intended. Whether specifically our bodies or minds, or our lives in general. Don't put junk into it, whether "food" or garbage thoughts. Use them for something higher than the moment.

A New Year Focus?
That reminds me of a general idea for health. There are a lot of questions about health, about what is good or not. Research seems to change or bring up new ideas. But there are some general things I know, like drinking plenty of liquids and getting some exercise. I want to concentrate on doing the things I know.

Speaking of Focus... Our Escape
We still just have one car, and it was about time to turn it in. We had narrowed our choice down between another Fusion or maybe an Escape. The Fusion and Escape mileage are supposed to be the same (although the price was not). A big factor was getting stuck on our low-priority plowing street. We went to the Royal Oak Ford Dealer last Friday to work it out, and came home with an Escape. So far, so good!

Our salesperson was Joe McKenzie (photo, left column of ad), whom we appreciated for his attention, knowledge and honesty (if ever he did not know something, he would say so and find out). He spent a lot of time with us.