PetSmart Therapy

On Friday, John's "day off", we went to a favorite store, REI (outdoor recreation. Since John likes to shop there so much, almost all the clothes I wear are from there...) to spend his member-rebate on a backpack to carry his computer, so he can sometimes ride his bike the three miles to work. Of course, when we move, we need to explore new stores, or different versions of familiar stores. So we found an REI in Troy, not too far away.

Then, just for fun and because I had been wanting to see a puppy, we stopped next door at the PetSmart. (Our dog Oakley died almost three years ago.) I didn't really think I would see puppies there, but it seemed like a hopeful activity. We wandered back to the PetsHotel and and Day Camp section, something I had not seen before. Through a window, we could see dogs and their people in training. We just watched for a few minutes until someone came up to us who worked there, and asked if we were waiting to pick up a dog, and then started talking to us. I said we did not have a dog right now, but just wanted to see some. She took note of my scarf-covered head and commented that yes, I had other things to deal with now. I normally do not have cancer-related tears, but her compassion suddenly made my eyes overflow. I told her I just wanted to see dogs. I just wanted to touch one. She was very dear. She said there are almost always dogs in the store and she walked us around to find one to visit. There were not any roaming at the moment, but she quietly said she would pray for me, and she kindly insisted I come back to the store another time.

I probably will.

Family Catch-up

With Mom and in the apron she made for me.

Even without kids in school, there is a certain connection to school calendars and schedules, including Sunday night Disciple Bible Study (which John I teach together) and Wednesday evening programs and more than I know!

I've kept up walks with Sue C. and also walked with Linda S., and then joined a yoga class at church with Jessica, my same teacher as before! It felt good to stretch! I am also trying to keep up with the simple back/abdominal exercises from the YMCA Healthy Back Book. But I should also be moving on to the next level by now.

Our friend Bill Adcock has been home from the hospital, with lots of tender loving care from Jean and friends.

And my parents were here for a few days this week! It was good to see them! So Tuesday, Allan and his kids (grown and working!) Kendall and Jason came over for dinner too. It was good to see all of them! I have been taken care of so much in the last several months, that I just kept thinking of random food items to make and kept busy in the kitchen beforehand.

Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel,

who alone does wondrous things.

Blessed be his glorious name forever;

may his glory fill the whole earth.

Psalm 72:18-19

Bill Adcock

My friend Bill Adcock is in the hospital in Florida, where they are caring for his heart. He is on my mind and in my prayers, and so in my blog today.

He was my parents' friend first, a part of their church youth group, back at the old Calvary Baptist Church in Dearborn, where I grew up (and where the building is now used by Hill Memorial Church of God in Christ).

I have always considered him one of the first persons to welcome me into the world of adult responsibilities when he was a member of the Nominating Committee. He asked me to serve on the Christian Education Committee when I was 18, where I learned a lot.

Sometimes it may be difficult to ask people to do something, but somehow he asked in a way that I was honored and excited.

Fast forward to when I learned to use e-mail.. He became an email buddy, sending all sorts of jolly notes. And one year, when John and I were contemplating what to do with some early spring vacation time, he encouraged us to come down and see them in Florida. I had never thought much about going to Florida, but his encouragement was warm and persistent. So, we traveled (spring of 2005, before Hurricane Katrina hit later that summer), to see Bill and Jean, along with other welcoming hosts, the Martindales, the Otts, and over in Mississippi, the Hamptons (who moved to Minnesota after the Hurricane... now thinking of Maurie and Bev too, who just had wrist surgery).

People have prayed for me so much.
I am reminded to keep lifting the names of others, as well, to God who knows, who loves, who holds us close.

This Week

Walking
This past week, I walked with John and Kip and Courtney and Sue C.

I walked to Gilda's Club, and attended a couple different "cancer support communities" (groups).

When I first went to Gilda's Club (named after comedienne Gilda Radner from "Saturday Night Live", author of It's Always Something, and who died of ovarian cancer in 1989), I was asked to complete a questionnaire. One of the questions was about how my life has changed since the cancer diagnosis.

So I wrote an answer, but I continued to think.
I do not have an old life and a new-after-diagnosis life.
I would say, every day is new and different.

Sure, a cancer diagnosis brings up the subject of death. But it is a subject everyone has in common at some point, and no one controls how long we live or when we die.

But if we did, when would we choose? After our family is grown? Settled with jobs? Married? With grandchildren? When we have a relationship with the grandchildren? When we have reached a certain age or accomplished certain tasks?

And how much suffering would we experience or observe along the way?

Who knows? So I am glad to enjoy the days and moments (and whatever).
And I am thankful for the humming.
I am wondering if someone prayed specifically for humming, as every now and then, I just hum little tunes.
Thanks!


For Better or For Worse
The comic strip story line, For Better or For Worse, ended this past weekend. We first noticed it about the time we were starting our family, and the comic strip family seemed to be growing up about the same time as ours.

It closed with a wedding and with the bride and groom visiting the sick grandfather and care-giver step-grandmother. She explains "We made a commitment - just as you did today. And although it is not easy, this is all part of loving someone - with all your heart.. and with all you have to give!"

I am considering what body part seems to work for an analogy.
Maybe commitment is the heart of love, or the brain of love, or the teeth of love.
Anyway, commitment seems to be key to keep love living.

Identity

So. I am contemplating involvement with a cancer support community. I do not know what that might mean. But it makes me think about my identity and definition. Hmm... Part of a cancer group...

I can think of identity extremes, from one end as a regular Death Machine headed straight toward destruction.
At an opposite extreme, there could be Done-with-Chemo-Done-with-Cancer, Forever Free and Going to Live Forever Like Everyone Else.

Those are both extreme, of course. I did get as close as "I am not dying today!" when I got impatient waiting for CT results. I then moved into "I am living today!"

But generally, I live in places in between. I sometimes listen to descriptions of identity from others, and decide whether or not to affirm them for myself. For example, at my last doctor visit, Dr. Malviya said "You are a walker." Hmm. I like that and want to keep it, and am trying to live up to it.

Also, after a comment that my hair(-lessness) has worked out well for the summer, he said I looked for the good. Hmm. I like that too, and want to keep it, and want to live up to it.

Another identity piece that I like to hold on to:
"...I have called you by name; you are mine.....
You are precious and honored in my sight, and I love you....."
(God's message in Isaiah 43:1b,4a)

Found Treasure

I just found my clock radio and my cross-stitch needlework bag! The box was packed upside down, so when I peeked in before, I did not see what I was looking for on top!

Sometimes we cannot find what we are looking for because it is not where we expect it!

The Princess and the Pea at Gilda's Club

I call today my Princess and the Pea Day, when my bones and muscles seem extra sensitive. It took a while to drag myself out of the house, but I knew I needed to move. Fortunately, James and I had just walked last night, and found our way to the local Gilda's Club (after it was closed for the evening). It seemed like a good destination for a walk today, and I knew I would not get lost! They were very welcoming, although- interesting welcome- one person said she was sorry I had to be there. It seems worth exploring, so I "joined", and I look forward to participating.