My Friend's Discovery

A friend recently told me about her experience of being new and finding her place in an organization. She said at first, it seemed that some people knew exactly what was going on and what to do. They seemed to present themselves as knowledgeable and authoritative. Then she realized that, in fact, perhaps they were simply out-spoken. Seems insightful. We all have a place and a voice.

Back Aleady!

I am back from chemotherapy #3 already!
Everything went fine.
(The chemo process seems pretty gentle at the time, from the combination of drugs.)
As always, thanks for prayers!
Now I am hungry!
(Thanks Marie!)

Chemotherapy Prayer

"Blessed are you God our God, King of the universe...."

"A morning prayer from the book Prayers and Promises by Ed Dobson tells of a time that the author and his son attended a year of weekly classes on conversion to Judaism at a local (Grand Rapids) synagogue. Their purpose was not to convert from Christianity, but to understand Judaism better.

Dobson wrote:

One of the things we learned was the official Jewish blessing. When Christians pray over their food, they often ask God to bless it. From a Jewish point of view, this is very foolish. After all, God has already blessed the food. He sent the rain. He sent the sunshine. He provided good farmland for growing crops. And
he gave farmers the ability to grow the food and bakers the ability to bake the bread. So rather than asking God to bless the food, Jews bless God for the food.

Dobson said that they pray with the formula, "Blessed are you God our God, King of the universe...." with the topic "Who brings forth bread from the earth" at mealtime, and with many other subjects throughout the day.

My prayer for chemotherapy has been:
Lord, please help the chemo drugs to find the cancer cells;
to effectively destroy them; and
to help my other cells be so healthy that the cancer cells cannot grow back.

I will apply Dobson's prayer suggestion for my situation:
Blessed are you God our God, King of the universe,
who knows where the cancer cells are

and uses medicine to destroy cancer,
and who brings health and life in my vulnerability.

Blessed are you God our God, King of the universe....

To Philly & Back

Visiting Carrie

A week ago Wednesday (after stopping for a "blood draw" at the hospital), John and I drove (John actually drove) to Philadelphia to stay with Carrie for a few days. It was a long drive, a long day, but the roads were good, and the timing turned out to be good for traffic as well. (My doctor just said to stop and walk around every couple hours and to wear surgical stockings to prevent blood clots.) We mostly had quiet restful times for reading and visiting there in Carrie's Manayunk (area of Philly) apartment. She just moved to that particular apartment in December, so this was our first time at this sunny place. It is always good to see her!


Arnold's Way

Monday, Carrie drove us (allowing us to keep our parking space) to a little shop/restaurant she had found, called Arnold's Way, which emphasizes a raw version of healthy food. I had "Sally’s Red Salad - Sweet beet Stake, Beet, Red Pepper, Tomato, Carrot, Red Cabbage, Green Olives are all minced together and served on a bed of lettuce. " John had "Pizza - Minced Tomato, Broccoli, Mushroom, Red Pepper served with our Red Sauce on a flax, buckwheat, carrot crust'", which looked rather like a salad on crackers, but tasted really good.

There are books and products for healthy eating/living, and Arnold told us about a cancer movie he recommends. He and my oncologist have different views on the value of chemotherapy, but of course, the food was really good there!

Summerfield/Siloam UMC

Sunday morning, John and I attended a worship service at Summerfield/Siloam United Methodist Church in an area called Fishtown. The message was about living in the light of Jesus' resurrection. There was a small gathering for a 10:00 a.m. traditional worship service in a lovely city-church stone building. That was followed by their "Revolution" service; we're thinking that means "contemporary" and that it is probably their larger service. (We did not stay.)

National Constitution Center

We had not intended to do any "tourist" activities, but we felt like getting out a bit, and I loved the National Constitution Center the first time I visited a few years ago. So Tuesday we took the regional train (off-peak hours, so not too busy) downtown. (News note: This was also the location of the recent "race" speech by Barack Obama.)

Lunch at Delilah's

But first we stopped to eat at Reading Terminal Market, where I had Delilah's macaroni-and-cheese and also her collard greens (my southern heritage at odds with Arnold). We had just seen Delilah on Carrie's cooking channel!

Going on to the National Constitution Center:

A wall in the exhibit hall contains what has become one of my favorite quotations:

"The only title in our democracy superior to that of President
is the title of citizen."
Justice Louis Brandeis, 1937

The live-and-multi-media orientation presents a background of history, and concludes with the question, "How will you use your freedom?"

Disciple Connection

That question really stood out to me, as we had just been reading Galations in our Disciple Bible Study, and studying the theme of freedom. The message was that, as Christ-followers, we should not overly focus on one rule/law unless we want to be measured equally by all of them (and we would fail). The whole law can be summed up (chapter 5) "simply" as: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Words used to describe the fruit of that life: love; joy; patience; kindness; faithfulness; gentleness; self-control.


Jolynn (Errante) Agostini
Assistant Professor of Nursing, Edinboro University of Pennsylvania
(If my research is correct/current. I looked that up.)

On the way back from Philadelphia, John and I made a couple stops in Erie, PA. The first was to see Jolynn, a high school classmate and a current role-model for my cancer experience. Before our last high school reunion (five years ago), she had been treated for an aggressive form of breast cancer. She is beautifully alive and doing shiningly well, and her perspectives and wisdom have been helpful gifts. (Sorry I forgot to get her picture.)

My Sister

Then (imagine being treated like a princess), we went to my sister and her husband Charlie's house, also in Erie, where Bonnie had dinner waiting! Yum! We spent the night there and had lots of laughs. Fun for everyone!

Cuddles.
The one sad part of the trip was the news that Cuddles, Bonnie's long-time canine companion, a cuddly-little-dog-who-loved-everyone, reached the end of her life this past Monday (before we visited). Cuddles will be missed not only for her affectionate and faithful personality, but also for her part in fun family stories - like getting into my mom's zipped travel bag and eating a bag of wrapped chocolate. Cuddles was determined to enjoy life.

Back "Home"
The trip back was easier taken in two days.

Then, Friday was my pre-chemo appointment with Dr. Malviya. A relatively quiet day, it seems, as we were done by 4:30 p.m.

I did feel like a bit of fun, so walked in wearing the pink wig from Sarah. Dr. Malviya happened to be at the reception desk when I arrived, and just stared for a moment, not seeming to recognize me. Then he started laughing, and I loved it. Later, while I was waiting in an exam room, some nurses who missed my entrance came for the wig view, so I put it back on.

Sometime it feels like I think about cancer all the time: when I wake up and when I try to sleep, when I should be doing something else, and when I am doing something else. I have added many of this week's moments of warmth and laughter to my memory bank for frequent withdrawal.

Tomorrow

Wednesday, we are taking some delayed vacation days to visit Carrie in Philadelphia! I am excited to see her! She lives in a different apartment than the one where she was last year when we saw her there. We plan to leave right after my "blood draw" (making sure blood counts are high enough to continue treatment... and assuming they are). In the meantime, James is taking care of things at home.

Hair(less)

Did I tell you that Sarah also gave me a present yesterday?

A really cute pink wig!

How fun!

As for that once-cute short hair cut, it has been shedding so much that much of it is now embedded in a stocking hat that my mom knitted for me. It looks like a mohair hat.

Today, was the day to try to calm some of the shedding. Allan, my brother and volunteer barber, came over this morning with his clippers. My head now feels a bit like Velcro.

My brother. My clipper-hero!



"And even the hairs on your head are all counted.
So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows."
Matthew 10:31-32

Easter and James' Birthday

Christ is risen!
He is risen indeed!

This year, we celebrated Easter almost as early as ever.
And this year, it was also on James' birthday, March 23!

It was a lovely day, and I have felt good all week.
James and Sarah took me to the 9:15 service, which was full of joy and celebration.
John's sermon theme emphasized the importance of Christ's resurrection over everything else, and how it gives meaning and perspective to everything else.

It was also a joy to be out and see loved ones at church.
(No hand-shaking/holding though, as I am in my low-immunity time.)

After church, James and Sarah made brunch, perfectly timed for when John came home.
Later, Sarah made dinner, and we also ate James' traditional birthday cake, cookies-and-cream cheesecake, made this year by Sarah.

Happy Birthday # 25 James!
You are a terrific son, and we love you!